People who avoid responsibility become increasingly boring. A polarising claim for your Thursday evening, and I’m standing by it.

‘Harden Up’ was the advice I was offered by a close friend and mentor. A man who in my opinion is qualified to drop this kind of guidance.

Imagine if every value you’ve taken on in your life, consciously and unconsciously, was represented as an item of clothing.

How many layers would you be wearing right now?

Do those clothes fit? Do they suit you?

I’d heard of ‘Dad Power’ before starting a family, but I didn’t really grasp what it meant. Friends who had passed through their rite of passage to fatherhood described it like a literal power. An inner power that had activated. It sounded cool but also far fetched.

Not having an answer to that question brought up a sense of shame in me. Equally, the thought of answering it conjured up feelings of fear. I was convinced of my unworthiness. Because that’s the thing with belief systems- we fucking believe them! I was willing to argue and defend my place as an unworthy man.

It’s possible that a lot of underlying fears and anxiety experienced, stems from an unconscious desire to be on someone else’s path; a belief that someone’s else’s path is better and more fulfilling than yours.

If one needs to be helped then a codependency quickly forms between you (the helper) and those ‘needing’ to be helped.

Clear Your Resentment. Resentment is a libido killer. Own Your Desires. Too often sexual desire is shamed or unexpressed. This will create inner shutdown and disconnection.