Navigating Emotions: 5 Tools for Healing and Accountability
When emotions spill out sideways, it's a clear signal that it's time to confront them. These are the pent-up emotions, the inner pressure, and all the excuses (stories) invented to avoid addressing them.
Recently I had an emotional blow out that impacted my son. Immediately after my outburst, I descended into shame, guilt, and self-criticism. This is treacherous territory, capable of perpetuating the repression and pressure. Self-disappointment and the urge to push these feelings and behaviours away can set off a destructive spiral.
Fortunately, I possess crucial tools that not only helped me handle this situation constructively but also facilitated my healing. Here are the tools:
1. Self-awareness
I became aware that my overreaction stemmed from deeper issues. The ability to observe myself and explore the inner realms when things spiral out of control was a godsend.
2. Shame Confrontation
I recognised that the shame I felt made me want to hide, deny, and repress my behaviour. So, I had to confront my discomfort and take action as a priority.
3. Understanding The Path to Healing
I understood that dealing with this in a genuinely healing manner, one that not only cleans up the mess but also amplifies love, is something I can't achieve alone.
4. Seeking a Safe Space
Having a safe place to turn to is crucial. A space with trusted individuals, men who prioritise integrity and understand the value of confidentiality – a place where raw, unfiltered emotions are welcome.
5. Self-Responsibility
I accepted that it was my duty to clean up the mess, to delve deeper than the surface symptoms, addressing the layers that led to the unintended impacts I created.
I’m overtly how grateful I am for the journey to becoming the person I aspire to be - a man, father, friend, partner, lover, son, and leader. Life-skills like self-reflection, self-responsibility, and community support are essential.
To anyone who resonates with this message, I hope it serves as a reminder that when faced with emotional challenges, addressing them directly is key to personal growth and healing.